As we head into a bit of a lull before the big mid-season premieres, the mind of this toobaholic began to wander into strange and bizarre territory.  As two of my favorite shows Lost and Mad Men are both on hiatus at the moment, I miss being mesmerized every Sunday night by Don Drapers’ uncomparable slickness as he continually figures out a way to “sell a hooker some p****,” as much as I miss watching Jack Shepards’ unparalelled arrogance get the Losties deeper and deeper into a pile of Dharma dung.  And so I began to wonder, what would happen if Don Draper were to take one of those unanncounced vacays of his and wound up on the island?  It would probably go down something like this…

- Our newest Lostie, stands up, brushes the sand off his Zegna suit and lights a cigarette, as Jack, Kate, Locke, Sawyer and the rest of the rag-tag gang look on in disbelief, suddenly incredibly self-conscious about their greasy locks and the tattered rags they’ve been wearing for the past 90 days or so.  Don ignores Hurley’s frantic yelling that he’s not on the manifest, tells Claire to cancel the rest of his appointments for the day, and walks off with Kate, who finds herself following him despite herself, presumably to the Swan Hatch.

- Desmond and Don are sitting in front a fire on the beach, sharing a bottle of whiskey. Desmond is perplexed and equally creeped out by Don’s persistant questions regarding why he prefers MacCutheon’s brand of Whiskey.

- Jack and Locke are having another one of their regularly scheduled power struggles.  Locke starts rambling about the island’s magical properties, only to be interuppted by Jack who launches into another one of his “live together, die alone” monologues. Don stands up, lights a cigarette and says he’s sticking with Jack, but insists he won’t be signing any contracts.

- Running low on cigarettes, Don has wisely struck up a friendship of necessity with Sawyer.  But after catching Kate walking out of Don’s swinging New Otherton bachelor pad one morning, Sawyer sucker punches our Mad Man as he walks across the quad for some of Locke’s special Dharma oatmeal with island spices.  Don, reels for a moment from the impact, calmly wipes the blood out from under his nose, and lights his last cigarette.  As he mulls over his new conundrum of where to aquire smokes, the pulse of “Jaters” and “Skaters” everywhere quickens, as a new subset of “Daters” begins to mobilize on Lost fan sites.

- Jack and the gang are in a state of apprehensive joy as they ready themselves for the arrival of the Freighter folk to whisk them back to civilization.  In preparation for his return to the advertising world, Don is drafting his great plan to save Oceanic…”Fly Oceaninc…You Never Know Where We’ll Take You!…..Oceanic, If Your Plane Crashes, We’ll Buy You a House!…”

http://tvblog.ugo.com/index.php/tvblog/more/what_ifdon_draper_was_on_lost

Lost-Matthew Fox Parody on Family Guy

Ok, I’ll admit I have a tendency to get caught up in TV romances. If the chemistry is there and the acting and writing is good, there’s nothing like seeing two great characters get together. Even those dragged out on-again-off-agains can be fun to watch when done right. But let’s face it; not all TV relationships are great. In fact, Katey and I came up with a handful of ones that were downright terrible.

Some relationships are doomed for failure. Take Andy and Angela in The Office. I don’t think the writers ever intended for us to fall head over heels for these two. And given the way the last season ended (with Angela and Dwight getting busy in the almost-deserted office shortly after Angela accepted Andy’s marriage proposal), I’m guessing that it’s only a matter of time before things fall apart for Andangela (yeah, that’s the best I could come up with). Anyway, looking back at some of our favorite shows, we came up with our five least favorite romances. These are the ones that weren’t supposed to be humorous side-plots. The ones we thought the writers really wanted us to buy into and instead, made us cringe everytime they were on screen together. Without further introduction, here they are:

5. Nate and Lisa – Six Feet Under
Nate was always a jerk, but when he agreed to a shotgun wedding with whiny hippie Lisa, he turned into a whole new kind of asshole. That whole season seemed to be spent watching the two bicker in the apartment over the garage, while Brenda, who Nate clearly still loved, was off having her own hot subplot with Justin Theroux. What I would give to be his French horn… uh, anyway. The whole thing ended with the melodrama of Lisa’s death, which added much-needed excitement to the season, but also made it feel like an overlong, moody episode of CSI.

4. Willow and Kennedy – Buffy the Vampire Slayer
I’m going to put aside the fact that I wasn’t over the whole Tara thing when I got to watching season 7 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. My dislike of Kennedy had little to do with the fact that she wasn’t Tara because let’s face it, no one could replace Tara. Kennedy was just annoying. Not only did I not feel prepared to adjust to seeing Willow as the more timid one in the relationship but I just wasn’t able to find any appreciation in Kennedy’s pushy attitude and she failed to win me over in the way she pursued Willow. Disliking Kennedy as a character pretty much destroyed any chance that I might have actually bought into their budding romance.

3. Joey and Rachel – Friends
Seriously, what were they thinking there? The writers spent the duration of the Friends series dumbing Joey down to the point where the only thing the guy ever took seriously was his obsession with sandwiches and then all of a sudden we’re supposed to get into the idea of him and Rachel dating? Putting aside the fact that Ross was totally Rachel’s lobster and no other man would do (though I happened to like Tag), it would’ve taken a lot more than seeing the two cuddling while watching Cujo to win me over on this one.

2. George and Izzie – Grey’s Anatomy
Gizzie. These two had zero chemistry and there was virtually no real set up for their relationship. George is unhappy in his marriage. Izzie’s grieving. So rather than lean on each other in the friendship they’ve built over the years, they decide to get hammered and sleep together. Then they proceed to try and have an actual relationship. Granted, getting hammered and sleeping together is how things started for Meredith and Derek but in Gizzie’s case, their inebriated and regretful beginning only lead to a lot of flat and awkward scenes. George and Izzie as friends: Adorable. Perfect. And occasionally it provided some much needed comic relief. George and Izzie as lovers? Blech.

1. Kate and Jack – Lost
Writers, you had your chance with Jack and Kate. They started as the alpha team of the island, leading everyone while tentatively flirting amongst themselves. We even rooted for them. But as soon as you transformed Sawyer into a decent person, and made him moon over Kate, the love triangle turned into a stupid, filthy mess. You’re not fooling anyone. Everyone knows Kate and Sawyer are meant to be, and Jack should’ve jumped off that bridge when he had the chance. At this point you’ve made Kate so annoying, he should’ve taken her with him. Way to destroy a good thing, guys.

http://www.cinemablend.com/television/Top-Five-Worst-TV-Romances-12405.html